


Chasing The Wind

by InnocentDumpling



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Casual Sex, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Heartache, Love, Love Confessions, Mother-Son Relationship, Nara Shikamaru-centric, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Pre-Relationship, Sexual Tension, Shinobi Politics (Naruto), Smoking, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23019652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InnocentDumpling/pseuds/InnocentDumpling
Summary: Shikamaru struggles to adapt to life as the new leader of the Nara Clan after the conclusion of the Fourth Shinobi War. The elders insist on him entering an arranged marriage with a reputable woman from the Land of Fire as per their custom for all Nara Clan leaders. Is giving in to tradition truly worth it though? “It is and always will be more trouble than it’s worth" - [AU / Canon Divergent] [ShikaTema]
Relationships: Nara Shikamaru & Nara Yoshino, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Nara Yoshino & Temari
Comments: 52
Kudos: 86
Collections: Innocent Dumpling's Naruto Collection





	1. Chapter 1

A loud series of bangs roused Shikamaru from his morning nap, causing an irritable groan to slip from his lips. Yet another day of chaos awaited him as the head of the Nara clan. Twelve whole months had passed since the conclusion of the war and he was still struggling to process all the changes; his father passing, becoming a clan leader and being promoted to the ambassador of Konohagakure. Grieving his father’s death was difficult enough, he hardly needed two new responsibilities on his shoulders, but life had to go on.

The transition hadn’t been easy for anyone involved. For over a month he had waged a war of sorts within his family, arguing about what decisions fell to him as opposed to that of the clan elders. His reason for such an arduous discourse was quite simple, and surprisingly it wasn’t focused on avoiding more work; although he didn't exactly appreciate the extensive list of responsibilities that now rested on his shoulders. Instead, he was primarily focused on maintaining control of his own key life decisions, something they all unanimously believed he no longer had any right to given his position. The fact that his own father had willingly agreed to forfeiting his rights in the same respect upon assuming the position certainly didn’t help matters.

Since Shikaku’s passing, Shikamaru couldn’t help but feel it was insensitive to go against the clan elders given how much respect his father held for them; no matter how absurd their demands were. Although his intellect far exceeded theirs, he simply couldn’t find it in himself to continue to fight their ridiculous request to gain control over his non-existent marriage. After a month of arguing his point to no avail, he surrendered to the idea, after all; his parents’ relationship was a product of an arranged marriage, and his grandparents before them as was the custom. As difficult as it was to accept, his life had changed and a lot of responsibility now fell to him. The most obvious responsibility of all was the inescapable concept of an arranged marriage with a woman from a reputable family within the land of fire. Naturally, he understood the true rationale behind the archaic concept. He needed to have children of good breeding stock and to continue the family line with a clan that could add further prestige to his own. It wasn't even a question of if he truly wanted to get married at this point, it was necessary for the survival of the clan.

Thankfully, the elders agreed to a compromise on the matter in an effort to ‘modernize’ their customs. He would attend one marriage meeting with a young woman per month as arranged by his mother and approved by the elders. The final decision was to rest with him unless he took longer than a year to agree to a marriage candidate. He couldn’t really complain despite how much he desired to, it was the best deal he was going to get from the stubborn old fools; and besides, it wasn’t like he had a girlfriend to worry about anyway.

The shadow-nin rubbed his right forearm sleepily across his eyes. Body sprawled across the tatami flooring in the shogi room; the doors leading to the central garden were wide open, an unusually loud banging echoing through the halls of the estate. His mother’s sudden decision to make minor improvements to the overall appeal of their estate, to make it look more appealing to prospective marriage candidates was shaping up to be significantly more disruptive than she had first implied. “I cannot take two more days of this racket,” he growled half dazed; “If they’re so shallow that they care what our home looks like then why invite them here in the first place?” It was a fair question; after all he was never going to agree to marry a high-maintenance woman who was focused on flashy items or who had a spoilt persona. “So much fuss for nothing,” he grumbled sleepily, a drawn-out yawn spilling from his lips as he tilted his head to the side.

The two women his mother had introduced him to thus far were nice enough, all coming from prominent families, but they all lacked something vital; they didn’t challenge him. There was something about a subservient woman that was really off-putting, he’d even go as far as to deem it a repulsive trait. He would be damned if he spent the rest of his life with an obedient wife with no thoughts of her own, how dull; _I guess that’s why father was so whipped by mother, she kept his life interesting_ , Shikamaru mused to himself.

As fate would have it, two of the Suna siblings arrived at his family estate the day prior; taking him up on the long-standing offer to stay at his home as opposed to staying at a hotel as they usually did. Not exactly the best timing, especially given the stressful environment his mother had created within their home in recent months; but it was nice to have a distraction of sorts, even if the blonde was more troublesome than his mother. _Why is it that I’m always surrounded by overwhelmingly assertive women? He wondered to himself_ , groaning inwardly.

“On the topic of troublesome, where is she?” Shikamaru mused, slowly sitting upright and looking across at the perfectly manicured garden before him _; It’s almost nine o’clock, since when was she the type to sleep in?_ Yawning the Nara rolled his shoulders back, slightly dazed as he slowly got to his feet and started to wander along the engawa; the sound of his heavy footsteps causing the wood to creak as he walked. The fresh morning air enveloped his figure as he wandered down the open corridor, a hand instinctively slipping into his jacket’s pocket; toying with his metal lighter and a couple of loose cigarettes he always carried on him.

To be honest, Temari’s timing might’ve been horrid but for him it could not have been better. Now he had a plethora of excuses as to why he couldn’t meet with this month’s marriage candidate who was due to arrive in a few days. After all, it would be rude to not spend time with a guest when they were dwelling in your own home. Right? Shikamaru’s lips curved upwards and opened a fraction, one of his hands swiftly lifting a cigarette up and planting it between them, promptly proceeding to light it and expel a puff of smoke. There was only one issue, she needed to be on board with his plan, but the present wasn't the right time to discuss such a topic.

“Tch,” he murmurs, pulling the cigarette away from his lips, a stream of smoke rising through the air before promptly sighing; She’s as unpredictable as the wind, who knows what to expect at this point. The calm chirping of birds rang through the air as he came to a halt. Onyx orbs locking on the blonde sitting quietly in the sunroom just around the bend of the engawa. Picturesque like always, her piercing eyes closed as she leaned backwards basking in the warm spring sunlight, a pot of hot tea sitting before her at the chabudai. You’d never know how much of a menace she can be by just looking at her. _It’s practically a trap when you think about it, you would never think that someone with a face like that be so headstrong_ , he mused silently.

His relationship with the troublesome blonde was a complicated one. She seemed to always want to start an argument at every opportunity, and yet somehow he constantly found himself wondering how someone he found so damn exhausting could be so incredibly attractive at the same time; perhaps he was a masochist. Things had gotten interesting after the war had concluded almost a year ago, with both of them working as ambassadors for their nations it often led to them spending a significant amount of time together; and somehow (and he’d be damned if he understood how), things had taken a surprising turn and the heat from disagreements turned carnal on multiple occasions. They never really discussed their situation apart for briefly after the first incident, after which Temari promptly advised that it meant ‘nothing’ so who was he to argue? It was just their way of exerting their sexual frustration as far as he was concerned, end of story.

Temari sighs as the sunlight danced across her visage; it had been days since she had the pleasure to relax like this, and to be completely honest she almost had no idea what to do with herself. The Nara family had kindly let her and Kankuro stay at their estate during their visit to the hidden leaf. As per usual Shikamaru was lurking nearby, either admiring her beauty from afar, observing her out of pure curiosity or perhaps he was trying to think of a plan of attack before their conversation commenced. A gentle smile teased at the corner of her lips, "You don't need to lurk Shikamaru. This is your home after all," She chuckles while pouring a cup of jasmine tea his mother had kindly prepared for her. Was this something the Hokage had requested from him or did he enjoy her company? It was hard to tell at this point.

In the months that followed the conclusion of the war, the two had spent an extensive amount of hours side by side; equally fighting from a political standpoint in order to maintain the peace that their people had fought and died for. She couldn't deny that his presence was somewhat comforting after all they had gone through. Reverting back to an upright sitting position, the blonde gently taps her fingertips on the table; “It's more polite to sit with your guests Shikamaru or do I need to give you a lesson in etiquette?” she teases, absentmindedly drawing her cup of tea up to her lips and sipping the infusion.

 _And so it begins_ , he groans inwardly, slipping his hands up to his lips and dragging his cigarette away, blowing smoke over his shoulder before entering the room and dropping down to the floor, crossing his legs; “I’m not putting it out. I’ve had a difficult enough week as it is.” Sure it might’ve been rude, smoking in the presence of others was rather uncouth, but given his current stress levels and the mocking he was sure would ensue he would rather get tortured than butt it out prematurely.

Temari wasn’t completely filled in on the finer details of the situation, but she knew enough to understand that he was in need of comfort of some kind. If that was cigarettes, so be it. Twisting her lips she turned away, her sharp gaze fixed on the trees outside the window, gently swaying in the breeze; “So an arranged marriage, never knew you were the type,” she states matter-of-factly, “I thought you believed marriage was more trouble than it was worth?” It was difficult to not feel a pang of disappointment when she heard the news earlier; they were sleeping together (even if it was casually) so she assumed if that was going to change he would’ve been man enough to tell her himself when that was first decided. To top it off the fact he even agreed to it was baffling, who was he? She thought that the man she knew would’ve fought tooth and nail against violations of his own liberty even if he was lazy, she was clearly mistaken.

“How did you - ?” He muttered unsurely before cutting himself short, “Ah! My mother filled you in, a little too gleefully I’m sure.” Eyes rolling, the strategist scratched the back of his neck; _That woman, she can’t keep family business to herself for even half a day_. It was irritating but his mother was always an unpredictable factor in every equation, it wasn’t as if he had anything to hide as the facts were the facts after all. But that fact didn’t make her oversharing personal details any less troublesome.

The Kunoichi forces a fake smirk as she leans forward, alabaster hands gently placing the cup back on the table before her and promptly slipping to her knees, gripping them roughly as her nerves got the better of her. “You didn’t answer my question cry baby. I assume you’re trying to get out of it given how unreasonable their request is?” she pried, her chest tightening as she met his gaze directly, her eyes narrowing as her frustration built up slowly but steadily. _He can’t just avoid answering it, that question isn’t going anywhere_ , she notes silently.

There was that look again, that same irked expression he knew all too well. _Why is she even so invested in this?_ He pondered for a brief moment before lifting his cigarette back up to his lips and exhaling heavily; smoke enveloping him in an instant. “It is and always will be more trouble than it’s worth. But it’s out of my hands now that I’m the head of the clan in my father’s stead,” Shikamaru answered at last, his dark orbs fixed on her perplexed expression; “If getting married will appease my mother then so be it. She’s been fixated on marrying me off since Dad died in the war, probably worrying about the future too, I guess grief does that to you.”

“I misjudged you,” Temari barks, the false smirk once plastered across her lips quickly vanishing as she met her comrade's gaze directly. Losing a parent was never something that would be easy to handle, something she had unfortunately learnt through personal experience; but that was no excuse to just hand over your freedom. “How did you become this pitiful in two mere months?” she asked flatly, her teal oculars trembling with frustration as it consumed her; “Whatever, it’s not my life.” Temari sighed heavily and turned away, attempting to calm herself down before she said something she would regret; _Seriously, how hard is it to have a backbone?_

Brows furrowing, Shikamaru leant forward and butted out the last tiny portion of his cigarette in the ashtray on the table. “Why are you raising your voice? Are you jealous?” He almost laughed at his own suggestion, if there was one thing he was sure of it was that Temari was not like other girls he grew up with; not once had she ever fawned over a guy let alone gotten jealous due to one, to his knowledge anyway.

The blonde’s stormy eyes widened for a split second. “Me? Jealous over you of all people? You can’t be serious,” she fires back defensively, heat rising to the apples of her cheeks as she promptly crossed her arms under her chest; rising to her feet, fists clenched. “Just because we have been intimate it doesn’t mean that I’m territorial or whatever you’re assuming in that complicated mind of yours. I told you it meant nothing and I meant it.” He had struck a nerve. She would rather die than admit it but he had. _So what if I am jealous? You’re suddenly getting married and you didn’t even think to tell me this? I saw you last month and the month before that! I had to hear about it from your mother!_ Her mind fires back silently, anger consuming her thoughts. Sure, they hadn’t gone on a date or anything of the sort, but their relationship had always been a complicated one and adding sex into the equation only made it more confusing. Hell, she didn’t even know how she felt herself or why his situation infuriated her to the degree it did. _God he’s frustrating!_

He’d gone and done it now, her bitchy side was showing. Rolling his eyes he laid back on the tatami flooring, his arms folded behind his head; “It was a fair question. Geez, all you women are so annoying,” he grumbled under his breath; _There’s nothing wrong with being a little jealous, just own up to it and stop being as stubborn as an ox_ , he mused silently.

“I shouldn’t have decided to stay here,” Temari snaps as she storms out of the room; “You’re absolutely impossible. I don’t know why I even bother.” There was no stopping her now, she was furious.

* * *

  
AUTHOR:  
  
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! If you would like to read more please leave a review as I'd love to hear what you think and also be sure to follow this story to ensure you get notified when I update.


	2. Unconventional Lunch

The shoji screen slams loudly against the doorframe, an intentional action by the blonde in an effort to reinforce just how annoyed she was; as if it wasn’t blatantly obvious. Groaning inwardly Shikamaru stares blankly at the screen in question, perhaps he pushed it too far and assumed too much? Now he had thoroughly irritated her, what was his strategy? He couldn’t just leave things the way they currently were, not with that temper of hers; it wouldn’t be surprising if she went to a hotel at this point.  
  
“Everything is so exhausting when she’s like this,” he grumbles under his breath, slowly pushing himself upright and onto his feet, icy fingertips slipping into his pockets as he turned to gaze out into the courtyard. They’d been in arguments countless times; in fact it was odd for them to not bicker at least a couple of times over the course of each time they met up for work. But arguing over personal details, that was unchartered territory.  
  
At the other end of the house, Temari storms into the guest bedroom she had been allocated, shutting the door behind her. Sighing heavily, she slides down the back of it on the floor; her knees folding up towards her chest; turquoise eyes flutter shut as she tried to calm herself, “He’s an absolute idiot.” Sure, she knew what she was getting into when they initiated their unique relationship months back. He was intelligent, frustratingly so; but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t find his blunt comments and impeccable observation skills irritating beyond belief. Because at times like this, he was as annoying as all hell.  
  
It was funny how quickly things had turned upside down, upon arrival she was high-spirited despite her exhaustion; but things went downhill from the moment she passed the threshold into the Nara residence and spoke with his mother. There was no doubt in her mind that he was avoiding her, but her main gripe she truly had was him concealing the truth; was she that impossible to talk to or was he trying to manipulate her for his carnal urges? It was an offensive thought.  
  
Bare feet tap across the floorboards as Shikamaru slowly makes his way up the hallway, approaching the guest bedroom; guilt riddling his mind as he scratched the back of his neck. It had never been his intention to upset her, but somehow he managed to do so with very little effort. Understanding her was a formidable task, but from what he could gather, her main frustration stemmed from his submission to his family's desires paired with his failure to disclose that he was getting introduced to marriage candidates. For the most part, what she had expected of him wasn’t unrealistic in theory; honesty was at the crux of all healthy human relationships whether they were platonic or otherwise; as was fighting for one’s freedom. But what she failed to acknowledge was the broader picture. Groaning inwardly, the strategist stops short of her room; a clenched fist hovering just short of the door itself for a short moment before reluctantly tapping on the dense surface.  
  
Temari’s eyes flick open, a frown forming as she takes careful note of the knocks sounding from the other side of the door; “Go away,” the kunoichi responds, her voice tense. _The fact that he sought me out is surprising_ , she muses; given their earlier exchange, she assumed that he would compartmentalize it, and automatically place it in the ‘too hard’ basket until he came face to face with her next.  
  
A drawn-out sigh slips from the strategist’s lips. _As expected she’s not open to any form of discourse_ , he notes internally, a frown settling across his lips as he slipped both hands into his jacket pockets. “I should’ve ensured you knew what was happening. I just didn’t think you’d care,” the strategist admits as he turns his back to the door; shoulders relaxed as he fiddles with his lighter and stray cigarettes in his pocket. “I won’t apologize for my decision to pursue an arranged marriage for the sake of my clan, however. Leaders make sacrifices for the greater good,” he adds, bare feet leading him away from her locale; “That’s all I have to say. I’ll give you space.”  
  
Leaning forward, the Suna local wraps her arms around her knees drawing them up to her chest as she took in his words; she knew Shikamaru to be many things, but a liar was not one of them. If he said he was sorry and that he didn’t think she would care, she believed him; but it hurt to do so. _Was I really acting so disinterested in him that he would draw such a conclusion?_ Sighing the blonde tips her gaze down to her lap, pressing her forehead against her knees; _Why am I so bad at this? It shouldn’t be so difficult._ Acting in such a juvenile manner was downright embarrassing, and undoubtedly something she would mock others for doing, but she couldn’t help it. As soon as the topic came up it was almost as if something in her clicked, sending all her emotion training went out the window; he had such an unusual effect on her.

Shikamaru’s fingers rap lightly at the table, hitting the smooth wooden surface one by one as he gently exhales; an intoxicating cloud of smoke enveloping him as he gazes out the kitchen window. _She’s been quiet for half an hour_ , he notes silently, slowly tapping off the excess ash from the tip of his cigarette into the ashtray on the table.  
  
It was difficult to shake the words that were fired at him that morning; despite his earlier words he could understand her frustration, perhaps he should’ve tried harder to argue his case on marriage, and there was no doubt he messed up when it came to informing her. Decision making without a strategy was something he had a deep-rooted, visceral fear of; how others could make decisions without a lucid trail of thought was beyond him, terrifying even.  
  
Ever since he could remember a majority of his decisions were calculated, like pieces on a shogi board; but she was an outlier, an unpredictable variable that changed everything and it was incredibly unsettling. Somehow, despite gingerly taking note of her remarks and suggestions; he had grown accustomed to her incalculable nature as time passed, continually adjusting his internal calculations to try and account for her presence in situations as they presented themselves.  
  
The creaking of floorboards rouse the strategist from his train of thought, the blonde entering the kitchen soon after; a seemingly composed expression plastered across her face as she swiftly walked over to the kitchen sink pouring herself a glass of water. _Hasn’t she noticed me?_ He muses eyes keenly locked on her figure from the safety of his chair; the thought in itself was somewhat surprising given how adept she was.  
  
“My mother has gone to the markets if you came in here looking for her,” Shikamaru notes; his free hand slipping into his pocket as he watched the kunoichi unsurely. _I wonder if she’s calmed down?_ He ponders, inquisitive eyes scanning her figure as he takes another drag of his cigarette, before butting it out in the ashtray and slouching up against the wall.  
  
Temari freezes, carefully placing her glass of water on the benchtop; stormy eyes glancing over her shoulder, promptly spotting the shadow user leaning against the wall in the far corner of the room. “Don’t act like everything is fine,” she growls; “But since you were so honest earlier I have a question; were you avoiding telling me the truth just so you could just keep hopping into bed with me?”  
  
Her suggestion was laughable, was she forgetting her own actions or was she simply choosing to disregard them to make her point? “Of course not,” Shikamaru states flatly, immediately crushing her suggestion; “I did, however, consider ways I could bringing it up on multiple occasions, but spending time with you is rather distracting these days.” A smirk crosses his lips as he scratches the back of his neck; _How the heck am I supposed to retain any information, when she’s naked most of the time we spend alone? I’m not superhuman._ _  
__  
_“Oh, woe is me. I get laid on a regular basis. It’s so distracting and my life is so hard,” she teases, rolling her eyes as she turns her back to him; reaching for the cup of water she had pours for herself and lifts it to her lips. _I don’t even see how that’s a valid reason but whatever_ , Temari muses silently to herself; _Men are full of excuses._ _  
__  
_Shikamaru sighs heavily, she was clearly too blinded by her own irritation to even try and see the situation from another perspective; or perhaps it was just her stubborn nature hard at work again. “Just last month, you were harassing me under the table during the ambassador summit. As if that wasn’t going to make it difficult to focus?” he states bluntly; _What was I meant to do when she was brushing her hand across my crotch under the meeting table for an hour? Reject her, so I could discuss important matters later on? Not fucking likely. Why are women so complicated?_ _  
__  
_Raising an eyebrow, the blonde’s fiery eyes remains fixed on his visage. “You liked it, don’t act like you’re innocent,” she argues; cheeks reddening as the memory of their last encounter rings through her mind. “Go on. Admit it,” the sand-nin insists, placing her glass back on the bench beside her and crossing her arms under her ample bosom.  
  
There was no doubt about it. Temari was incredibly frustrating once she was worked up about something; and yet, hearing her bossy orders and witnessing her fierce expressions somehow tipped him over the edge. How he found this domineering side of her so attractive was beyond him. “So troublesome,” Shikamaru whispers under his breath while scratching the back of his neck.  
  
Eyes twitching, the blonde closes the gap between them. “Say that again. I dare you,” she fights back, jabbing him square in the chest. _There he goes again with that same remark as always_ , Temari notes silently; to be honest it was losing its edge and was feeling more like a nickname than an insult, but that didn’t prevent it from being irritating.  
  
“I said, you’re a troublesome woman,” the words tumble confidently from his lips, daring her to follow through with whatever she was planning to unleash. It’s too easy to get on her nerves, the strategist muses silently, his gaze fixed on her vexed expression.  
  
“Yeah? Well you’re a smart-ass,” she fires back, heart racing as her frustration bubbled beneath the surface.  
  
“Is that the best you can come up with?” he enquires, amusement evident in his voice as he raises a brow, “Disappointingly predictable.” He couldn’t help but prod the lion so to speak, but in situations such as this there was simply no reasoning with the Sunagakure local, she would argue until her lungs gave out.  
  
Eyes narrowing, Temari watches the smug strategist keenly; he thought he had her all figured out, and that was a weakness she was going to exploit. Without hesitating, she swiftly captures his lips with her own, fingers raking down his back; the shadow-nin freezes for a moment, taken back by her bold actions. _How’s that for predictable?_ She muses smugly, as she attempted to pull back and end the exchange.  
  
Shikamaru immediately pursues her lips as they break away from his, working his own across her supple rims with equal enthusiasm; fighting for dominance as their tongues clash. His weathered hands slip down to her hips, gripping them firmly as his mouth roughly works over hers. “Interesting,” the strategist muses as he pulls back for a moment, hands gently her caressing sides; “You must really hate smart-asses.”  
  
Mind a blur, Temari pushes the shadow-nin back against the kitchen table; one hand slipping down his stomach until she reaches his crotch, gripping roughly. “God you’re a pain,” she mutters, tugging his ponytail backwards as her lips brush down the side of his arched neck; “You can’t stop this discussion by distracting me like this. You’re forgetting that unlike men, women can actually multitask.”  
  
A groan escapes him, dark eyes fixed on the ceiling as he felt her teeth nipping at his neck between kisses as she inched towards his collarbone. “You’re forgetting that you’re the one who started this,” Shikamaru notes, his groin throbbing as he slips his right hand down to his aching sex; eager to free himself. _As per usual, she has to make everything a competition_ ; he notes silently as he fiddles with his pants, popping the top button free and proceeding to free himself.  
  
The blonde smirks, gripping his wrist and pulling it away as she draws back from his neck; her lips brush teasingly against his, hot breath dancing across his skin. “I was teasing you. You didn’t have to kiss me back,” she whispers, releasing his wrist and promptly slipping her hand into his trousers; slender fingers wrapping around his throbbing member, massaging it at a torturously slow pace. Her face hovers over his, eyes locked; warm liquid slowly exudes across her fingers, heat washing over her as she watches him jolt with every stroke until suddenly, without any warning she withdraws her hand. Releasing her grip on his hair, she lowers her gaze, eying the twitching mound in his trousers; “Consider that your punishment,” the kunoichi whispers, sliding the hand in question down his chest as she spoke, leaving a streak of his translucent essence down the front of his shirt.  
  
The strategist’s eyes narrow, frustration building as he pushed off the kitchen table; hands swiftly pinning the feisty blonde’s wrists above her head, securing her against the kitchen wall. One hand swiftly delves up her skirt, skimming expertly across the thin veil protecting her sex from his direct touch; a stifled series of whimpers escaping her as she withers beneath his touch, sensitive as always. “What was it that you were just saying?” he teases while slipping two digits past her undergarments, pressing them deep inside her moist sex.  
  
Breath hitching in the back of her throat, the blonde arches forward, yearning as an ecstasy laced moan passes her swollen lips. “You’re the worst,” she states breathlessly, cheeks growing hotter as his nicotine coated breath drew closer, his chapped lips roughly claiming her once more; stormy eyes fluttering closed as she surrenders.  
  
“Shikamaru, have the builders finished adjusting the back room?” Yoshino suddenly calls out from down the hallway, the front door slamming shut behind her. Both shinobi instantly spring apart; eyes widening, they exchange heated glances at their slightly dishevelled counterpart.  
  
Temari’s cheeks flush a deeper shade of pink as she slips her hand up her skirt, readjusting her underwear. “We shouldn’t have done that. We need to be more careful, or we will get walked in on,” she whispers haughtily; her gaze fixed on the doorway behind him as she anxiously straightens her skirt.  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” he repeats softly, an exasperated expression settling across his handsome features; calloused fingers speedily rebuttoning his trousers; “So, I take it you’ve calmed down?” Perhaps he was too optimistic for even suggesting such a thing, after all she wasn’t acting overly calm; but truth be told she never really was.  
  
The kunoichi scoffs in response. “If you’re asking if you’re forgiven the answer is no,” she retorts quietly, lifting her chin up in the air as she turns and walks over to the opposite end of the room; “But I’ll try to tolerate your presence if you promise to be more upfront moving forward.”  
  
“Shikamaru?!” Yoshino howls irritably, footsteps thundering up the hallway as the matriarch seeks out her one and only son.  
  
Between the two dominant women currently under the same roof, Shikamaru certainly had his hands full; “So troublesome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter, please note that the tags for this story have been updated to reflect the events of this chapter!
> 
> If you would like to read more please be sure to leave a review and also follow this story to ensure you get notified when I update.


	3. The Matriarch

Shikamaru lets loose a laboured sigh, a hand instinctively slipping behind his neck; short nails raking across his skin in exasperation _. Of course she had to come home right now. She has the worse timing_ ; he curses silently, dark eyes flicking over his shoulder as the woman in question entered the kitchen, slippers tapping across the tiles. A shiver rushes down the strategist’s spine as the footsteps ceased, his eyes narrowing nervously as he turned to glance back at her. “Oh, hey,” he replies simply, an attempt to brush off the catastrophic situation he almost found himself in.

“Oh hey?” Yoshino repeats sarcastically, reaching upwards and yanking his ear roughly, lowering him to her level; “What are you up to? You have that look again.” After years of raising him, she knew that look anywhere, he might be a genius but thankfully he was easy to read in a relaxed environment. Heaven only knows what he would’ve gotten up to if he wasn’t. Twisting her lips, the matriarch’s eyes sear into that of her son’s; _He’s uncomfortable about something_ , she notes silently.

Yoshino was an overbearing mother in every sense of the word, but it was clear it always came from a place of love and concern; particularly after his father’s recent untimely passing, since that day, she had been particularly invested in his every move. “What are you going on about?” Shikamaru fights back, a hand swatting her hand away from his earlobe; “I’m not a kid. Sheesh.” His lips curve upwards a fraction as he gazes back at his mother’s irked expression, her fierce eyes full of wisdom; yet they were now showing her age as tiny wrinkles claimed their perimeters. Sure it was irritating when she inserted herself into his business in such a manner. But if his father’s death had taught him anything, it was to appreciate the time they had left; one day he would miss it dearly. He was certain of it.

Temari stifles a laugh as she turns around to face the two Nara’s butting heads; it wasn’t rare for the two to exchange words in such a manner according to her discussions with Shikamaru. Disagreements between parents and their children were always somewhat of a sore point, she could only dream of her family caring about her enough to argue about menial things in such a manner. The memories she had of her mother were fuzzy, but if she closed her eyes she could still faintly recall the warmth of her arms wrapping around her; it was hard to remember her as anything but a loving woman. Her father, the Kazekage, on the other hand, couldn’t have cared about her or her brothers less if he tried; a heartless and cold man through and through. But instead of feeling a pang of jealousy as she watched Shikamaru fight back a smile as he gazed at his mother; she felt a strange warmth in her chest. _The effect of a parent’s unconditional love I guess_ , she notes to herself, eyes softening as she watched the pair carefully.

The brunette snickers to herself as she planted her heavy bag of groceries at her feet, crossing her arms under her chest. “You and your father both have the same expression when you either did something wrong, or when you got caught doing something you shouldn’t be;” she states bluntly, dark eyes softening, her unwavering gaze remained fixed on her son’s visage, “So which is it?” _He’s looking more and more like Shikaku by the minute_ , Yoshino muses to herself; nostalgia washing over her as she watched her son mimic her late husband’s mannerisms.

“Neither,” he replies stubbornly, his hand sliding from his neck and proceeding to glide into his jacket pocket. It was difficult to feel anything other than impressed at his mother’s keen intuition, but it wasn’t exactly unexpected; the woman had the nose of a bloodhound and the eyes of an eagle. It was impossible to even list the number of times she caught him and his father out in lies as they covered up various activities she objected to over the years. There was no doubt in his mind that her intuition was keener than his own when it came to their little family.

Yoshino frowns, clearly unconvinced by his response yet something nagged at her. Did she really want to know the answer? Then there was that suspicious white stain on the front of his top, glaring her right in the face. “What is that? You know better than to walk around in such a state,” the older woman barks; dark eyes flicking across to the blonde smirking at the sink for a few moments before locking on her son once more. _Is this some sort of private joke?_

 _She spotted it! This ought to be amusing_ , Temari notes silently; bright eyes darting from Shikamaru to Yoshino, silence clinging to the air. “Yeah, what’s on your shirt?” Temari interjects in an attempt to stir the pot, eyes glimmering with amusement as she wriggled her eyebrows daringly at the strategist from the safety of the sink. The day that she opted out of a blatant opportunity to cause him irritation would be the day she ceased breathing. _How can I let such a wonderful opportunity go astray?_

“It’s just some of the rice porridge I ate for breakfast,” the lie promptly rolls off the tip of his tongue; throat tightening as he felt anxiety swell in his chest. It was a poorly thought out cover story, an embarrassment if there ever was one given his sharp mind; “I was half asleep, I just haven’t gotten changed yet,” he adds lamely, his mind scrambling to give context to help reinforce the narrative he had constructed. _Oh God! She can never know what this is._

“I know kids that aren’t as messy as you,” Temari teases, a smug look settling across her features as she tried her best to contain her utter amusement at the situation. “It almost looks like you wiped dirty hands down the front of your shirt,” the blonde adds as she strides up to the pair, clutching a glass of water; sipping it casually as she basks in his silent yet irritated reaction. _It really is easy to rile him up_ , the kunoichi notes triumphantly.

Shikamaru twitches, annoyance clouding his mind as he glared back at the blonde. “Good on them. I made a mess, what are you going to do about it? Report me to the authorities?” he jeers sarcastically. She doesn’t need to join in this discussion to make things worse. _I swear she’s enjoying this way too much, especially given she is the culprit_ ; the strategist notes silently, fists clenching as he tried to hold back from saying something he would undoubtedly regret in his mother’s presence. The last thing he needed was her being suspicious of their relationship, especially given it was nothing of a serious nature. His head ached at the thought of even attempting to navigate such a conversation, was casual sex even a phrase in her vocabulary?

“I already have,” The sand-nin teases as she glances across at Yoshino, proceeding to slip into a seat at the dining table, placing her empty glass down before her; “What do you think about all this Yoshino?” _From what I’ve observed, your mother is the absolute authority here_ , she muses to herself; planting an elbow on the table and promptly resting her chin in the palm of her hand. A mischievous smile envelops her lips as she tilts her head, gazing up at her lover innocently.

 _Damn troublesome woman. She was itching to cause trouble wasn’t she?_ Shikamaru notes silently, as he takes in her unadulterated yet content expression. She managed to drive him crazy in more ways than one, and yet, one smile from her was all it took to dissipate his annoyance in a heartbeat; never before had a woman quite like her crossed his path. There was no doubt that she was challenging, hell, her attitude was either chaotic or mellow; there was no in-between. Part of him always assumed it was all due to her harsh upbringing in Sunagakure; but as time passed he wasn’t so sure that was entirely the case anymore. Perhaps she was always destined to headstrong regardless of the circumstances of her upbringing.

“What do I think? I think he needs to go and get changed,” Yoshino orders, her voice firm as she points towards the doorway; “You have no shame. Appearing in front of lady Temari in such a state, what would the elders say if you did that in front of a marriage candidate?” It almost felt as if she had gone back in time, it had been quite a while since she had to scold him to such an extent. It was somewhat nostalgic to say the least.

“Fine, fine!” Shikamaru grumbles, eyes rolling as he lets loose a long drawn out sigh; slowly brushing past her as he shot a warning glare at Temari. He was almost positive that if she hadn’t brought the topic up, his mother wouldn’t have even touched on the subject herself. Just how he was going to survive in his home with them both under the same roof was beyond him.

“By the way, I ran into Enchū when I was heading out earlier,” Yoshino states, her voice laced with urgency as she placed a gentle hand on her son’s shoulder; squeezing it gently. “He wishes to meet with you tomorrow evening,” she adds somewhat hesitantly, dark eyes searching her child’s as she took note of his disgruntled expression. It was clear he loathed the old man, and he wasn’t wrong in doing so; it was partly his fault that Shikamaru was being cornered into accepting the old ways, from his soon to be finalized marriage through to their internal political alliances.

It was nothing new. The pompous elder was always sticking his nose into their lives at every opportunity he got now that his father had passed; part of him wanted to scold the older man, reminding him of his place in the hierarchy, but what would that achieve? A small win. Yet in the long run, it would result in more hardship due to his undoubtedly petty nature. “What does that old fool want now?” Shikamaru grumbles, eyes rolling as he imagined the countless irritating requests that might flow from his mother’s lips on his behalf.

“Watch your tongue. He’s an elder. You need to get past your distaste for him,” Yoshino barks, brows furrowing as she slapped his shoulder. “He wants you to reconsider meeting the additional marriage candidates he put forward last week,” she explains, a heavy sigh escaping her after a few short moments; _It wasn’t what you agreed to, I know. Everyone has an agenda, a goal they want to achieve. You, my dear Son, are a very valuable piece in this game all the leaders and elders wish to play._

 _I knew it. He can’t take no for an answer_ , he muses to himself, jaw clenched; of all the elders he was one of the most persistent. Enchū had an agenda, it was blatantly obvious yet he wasn’t trying all that hard to conceal it like the others; What does he gain from this? Is he a mere puppet for another player? That thought seemed to be the most likely, he wasn’t the most intelligent of the elders but that didn’t mean he was without value or connections. “Of course he does,” the strategist states at last, exasperation dripping from his voice as he spoke; “Next time remind him that you’re not a carrier pigeon, he can seek me out directly.” Eyes searching his mother’s he couldn’t help but note a hint of sympathy present, or was it concern, it was hard to know; _I’d hate for you to become entangled in their games._

Ignoring her son’s pert reply, Yoshino crouched down to the floor, lifting her shopping bag and proceeding to brush past him. “Don’t be late. He always complains to me when you are,” she states as she placed the groceries on the counter; slowly proceeding to unpack its contents.

Temari stares blankly at Yoshino’s back, her mind abuzz as their conversation churned through her head over and over. It was clear the older woman had forgotten she was even present, that or she saw no point in maintaining a level of privacy on the matter. From what she had understood, it seemed as if she was the primary selector of the candidates; but if the elders were now interjecting with candidates of their own, that changed things. What was truly surprising was the lack of fight the matriarch had in her. Was she really okay with others vying for a place at her son’s side as if he was a prized bull? _This is not a normal_ , the kunoichi notes silently, her heart growing heavy; frustration bubbled away inside her as she watched Yoshino slowly patter about the kitchen, _Say something. Anything that shows you understand or care that this is blowing out of proportion. He’s waiting for you to say something._

“Yeah, yeah,” Shikamaru mutters flatly; dark eyes flicking in his mother’s direction momentarily before locking with the blonde’s once more. On one hand, he had Temari who seemed to be intent on making him stand up for his rights in all her ferocious glory; but on the other he had his Mother, completely fixated on marrying him off. The last thing he needed was the pair to turn on each other. It was bad enough seeing them as allies, if they were to become combative with one another it would bring a whole new meaning to the phrase troublesome; of that he was certain. “You’re coming with me,” Shikamaru orders under his breath; a hand ceasing Temari’s wrist and tugging her out of her chair.

Heat pricked at Temari's cheeks as she was lead out of the room, the warmth of his clammy hand radiating against her wrist; their bare feet tapped down the hallway, away from his mother’s prying ears. It was difficult to pinpoint exactly what inspired his bold move, she could only theorize that it was primarily due to his irritation over her earlier taunting and interference; he never really did have the patience for that behaviour. “That was amusing earlier,” she muses smugly as the pair turned a corner, approaching his quarters; “You can’t deny that you would do the same.”

“Of course you think it was,” Shikamaru mutters under his breath, his free hand reaching forward and sliding the shoji screen door open; promptly releasing his grip on her wrist as they passed the threshold. “I hope you know I will retaliate,” he adds, as he shuts the screen behind them; dark eyes narrowing a fraction as he slowly approached her station.

Plump lips twist as the blonde smirks up at her lover. “I honestly don’t think you have it in you,” she states matter-of-factly, stormy eyes boldly locking with his gaze for a few short moments; “Besides, you won’t have the balls to risk us getting discovered.” Snickering softly, Temari turns on her heel and walks over to his bed, propping herself on the edge as she gazed up at him through her thick lashes _; Are you going to tell me why you brought me here or is this just another sex thing?_ She muses.

There she was again, prodding away at his ego; it was basically her favourite punching bag at this point. Slowly peeling off his jacket, the Jonin tossed it on the floor; proceeding to remove his the tainted shirt that was the hot topic of conversation only minutes earlier, “Oh, and you have no issue with people finding out?” he states flatly. There wasn’t even a small part of him that was convinced she truly understood the weight of her statement, for example; did she take into consideration that their positions as ambassadors would most likely be reviewed upon news of their relations? Or that his family would most likely force him into a quick marriage out of fear of illegitimate children being fathered? It was doubtful she thought that far ahead.

Brow arching, Temari shrugged; “Not really. Although my brothers would surely want your head on a spike if they knew you were defiling me when we aren’t even dating.” Her body temperature rose slightly as she watches Shikamaru’s abs ripple as he slipped his shirt off and flung it on the floor; the blonde presses a finger against her lower lip, losing herself deep in thought for a few moments as she stared at him in all his shirtless glory. “Yeah, that would be rather inconvenient,” the blonde muses, leaning back on his bed; hands digging into the cushioned surface supporting her weight, fingertips clutching at the sheets.

Shikamaru scoffs loudly, she really was relentlessly blunt; “Inconvenient, that’s all?” he pries shamelessly, it was likely to be yet another attempt at rattling him. A tired smile crosses his lips as he turned to his dresser and selected a crisp clean shirt, flicking it over his shoulder as he turned to face her. Being surrounded by troublesome characters, both male and female alike had been part of his life for as long as he could remember; and yet with her it was different, despite his limited interest in discourse of a similar nature, the strategist’s interest in her banter never wavered. Something drew him to her like a moth to a flame, completely aware it is about to be scorched; but resigned to the pending pain, for the sake of warm light caressing its dust soaked wings, if only for a brief moment.

“Yes, inconvenient,” Temari repeats calmly; a smirk enveloping her lips as her gaze travelled from his abdomen back up to his handsome face, “Why, does that bother you?” It was impossible to not tease him, but remaining calm as he twisted and turned his toned flesh before her very eyes was another story entirely. _Just focus on his face. He’s doing this to elicit a reaction from me_ , the kunoichi urges silently as she takes a deep breath; game face on as her gaze drifted back down to his impeccable form, _Damn you_.

“Not in the slightest,” Shikamaru retorts, as he leant forward lifting her chin a fraction so she met his gaze once more; calling her perverse gaze out without uttering so much as a word. “It might come as a surprise to you, but I have other things that require my attention beyond your little mind games,” he adds, sliding the shirt off his shoulder and over his head, concealing her source of distraction; _Looks like I’m not the only one who is disappointed that things for cut short earlier_.

Temari leans forward, a mischievous gripping her features as she tilts her head to one side, blonde ponytails fluttering. “Mind games,” she scoffs in false disbelief, eyes widening for extra dramatic effect; “Like those pretty little trophy wives, they are trying to set you up with?” Perhaps it was too early to tease him on such a subject, but how else was she supposed to process the incredibly awkward position she found herself in? Sarcasm and harassment were the only passive ways forward she knew worked. It was ironic really, how much she dreaded their non-official arrangement coming to an end; would he suddenly turn around and reject her advances out of the blue? Or would he stretch their arrangement out until a woman that piqued his interest entered the picture? She was not a fan of either of the options presented, but it was just sex and no one knew about their arrangement. So it didn’t matter, right?

“Who cares if they are beautiful? Intellect is more important than superficial crap,” Shikamaru states flatly, his nose scrunching up as her suggestion echoed through his mind; _Is she attempting to tease me here, or is she serious? She can’t be serious, surely._ He slowly makes his way over to the window, hands slipping into his trouser pockets; his gaze redirecting to the lush Nara Forest his family was solely responsible for. “This whole endeavour is just a means to an end,” he states bluntly; eyes fixed on the shy doe glancing back at him from the edge of the clearing, a tiny fawn at her heels.

 _Is he serious right now?_ Temari wonders, arms draping over her knees as she watches him silently; _I’ve never seen him so serious about something outside of our line of work_. After all the time they had spent together since the conclusion of the war, she couldn’t help but feel that she knew him extremely well; especially given his father’s passing during that time. But this version of him, it was definitely new; not in a particularly bad way, just confusing. “I thought you wanted this?” She states at last, her throat growing tight as the last word passed her lips.

It was difficult to answer such a question, sure he wanted to marry, even if it had to be under such circumstances; after all it wasn’t as if women were lining up to pursue him. Instead, he had to be realistic, “I’m not happy, but I’m not against it either. I understand the importance they are placing on it given my position however;” Shikamaru explains; carefully selecting his words as a little voice in the back of his mind nagged him to be cautious of how he went about expressing himself.

“Agreeing to meet these women over the course of this year affords me some liberties with the elders. I have always suspected that some of them were corrupt, but now it seems so prevalent it cannot be overlooked;” the strategist explains as he fiddles with the window; opening it a fraction before proceeding to pluck his last cigarette from his pocket, lighting it as he turned to face the blonde. Inhaling gently, heat slips down his throat and into his lungs; a small yet instantaneous rush coursing through him as he expels the smoke over his shoulder towards the open window; his shoulders relaxing as a sincere smile seizes his lips. _They get lax when they believe they are getting their way, they have big egos so they will undoubtedly assume they outsmarted me. I will lure them out of the shadows, by becoming a carrot dangling before their smug noses._

Sighing heavily, the kunoichi rises to her feet carefully eyeing the death stick between his fingers; _How many have you had today alone? You're out of control._ Drawing close, she seizes the cigarette just as he attempts to draw it back to his lips; her fingertips wiggling the item for a moment before she draws it up to her own lips for a quick drag. It had been a while since she had partaken in the dirty habit; but she could hardly permit him to smoke himself to death on her first day back in Konoha, that simply wouldn’t do. “So it’s a ruse to catch out malicious family members?” she muses as she exhales a stream of smoke ever so gently; _Is your mother aware of this? She doesn’t seem to be._

“If I have to marry so be it. But preferably with someone of my own choosing as per my agreement with them. Regardless, it permits me to solidify my position as head of the clan,” Shikamaru replies simply, his body sliding up against Temari’s; eyes fixed on her fingers as they gripped the cigarette, hovering inches from her lips. “Meanwhile, I intend on snuffing out the perpetrators within my clan to preserve my father’s legacy,” he adds, lips twisting into a smirk he leant in; briefly pressing his nicotine coated lips against her own, his hand snatching back his prize before pulling away and taking a long drag. _Since when do you smoke? Ruin your lungs with your own cigarettes._

 _No idea how to share, a typical only child. We shouldn’t be smoking anyway_ , she muses to herself, snatching the cigarette back and butting it out on the ashtray sitting on the window sill; a look of horror engulfing her comrade as he watched on. “You see life as if it’s a game of shogi, right?” she states boldly, her gaze fixed firmly on the serene view of the forest outside his window. “You’re fixated on all the players. The King, Gold Generals and even the Pawns, it’s how you are wired. But you need to remember, that if they are pieces on your board, you are also a piece on theirs,” Temari adds, her arms crossing under her bosom.

“Why do you think my marital freedom was a sacrificial lamb? I could’ve kept fighting them. I simply chose not to in order to take advantage of the opportunity,” the strategist explains as he watches her unsurely. Did she really think that he of all people would’ve failed to note such a basic fact? Or was it supposed to serve as a gentle reminder? “Can I count on your assistance with luring out those bastards out?” He adds, hands clenching into tight balls as he keenly awaited her response.

“I thought you didn’t want them to know? Besides, I cannot and will not meddle in Konohan affairs. It will reflect badly on Gaara. You know that,” Temari states flatly; stormy eyes narrowing as she stared at the strategist expectantly. _Surely he didn’t expect that I would risk my brother’s reputation by getting involved in something of this nature_ ; her mind growled as she stared at him expectantly. It was fair to request assistance from a friend of course. But she couldn’t help but feel as though his expectations for such a task would end up being substantial.

He’d gone and done it again. Roused the beast so to speak, this time setting off the protective older sibling mode in the harsh woman standing before him. Eliciting an emotive response from the kunoichi was undoubtedly a natural-born talent of his, especially considering all she had endured Sunagakure’s infamous emotions training. But on the flip side as she was equally adept. “They don’t need to know our arrangement and you wouldn’t be meddling. Think of it as just distracting them,” Shikamaru explains with a shrug; "There's no reason why your involvement would reflect badly on Gaara, we're not spilling blood or anything drastic like that. All I require is your company."

It was a difficult situation she found herself in. On one hand, her family and their reputation mattered above all else; but on the other hand she treasured her comrades, and she had an undoubtedly unique relationship with Shikamaru. What type of kunoichi would she be if she turned down the request for help? Especially when they made such a bold guarantee. “Fine. But nothing more than that,” she replies reluctantly, unsure whether she would live to regret such a leap of faith; “Also, don’t think of me as a game piece on this board of yours. If I feel like I’m becoming one I promise I will not hesitate to obliterate it.”

Part of him knew her statement was supposed to be intimidating, and if he didn’t know her as well as he did maybe it would’ve been. But hearing her threaten him in such a manner brought a smile to his lips; nothing about her was weak. _Oh, I don’t doubt it_ , he notes silently; a triumphant smile wrapping across his lips, “Now where did we leave off earlier?”

“You’re not worried about your head being put on a spike?” Temari teases, as she pushes him backwards, his legs splaying slightly as he fell onto the mattress. Twisting her lips in amusement, the kunoichi mounts his lap; her groin pressing up against his hardened crotch. _That didn’t take much, she muses silently_ , fingertips weaving through his tightly bound hair.

“Not in the slightest,” Shikamaru responds, his voice strong and unwavering _. Although it would be hardly ideal if that ended up being my fate_ , he muses to himself.

 _I don’t know if that’s a turn on or pure stupidity at this point_ , Temari muses as she feels him pull her close. Shikamaru’s hand cups her chin, a thumb tracing over her top lip, proceeding to slip down onto her tongue momentarily before tenderly tugging her lower lip as it made its way to her chin. Shivers of delight rush down her spine as she reluctantly slipped off his lap. “Let’s make it quick. If Kankuro comes looking for me, you will reconsider your last answer,” she states breathily, hands slipping up her thighs; underwear pooling at her feet in seconds. “I’m taking charge. Does that work for you? Or is that too troublesome?”

“I guess I can make do,” Shikamaru teases, one hand rapidly unfastening his trousers. _Better not have interruptions this time_ , he muses to himself as he leant in, eagerly assaulting her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this nice long chapter! If you would like to read more please be sure to leave a review and also follow this story to ensure you get notified when I update.
> 
> I have a few other ShikaTema & Naruto stories up on my account (with more to come). You can [click here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Naruto_Collection) to check them out if you're hungry for more content about this amazing ship. 
> 
> If you want to chat you can find me over on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ImpureDumpling).


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